Something about being projected on a 70 foot screen makes you more attractive and appealing to the opposite sex, which is pretty scary.

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

I've always felt most comfortable in the hopeless romantic, underdog kind of roles who always gets the girl in the end. I don't know what that says about me but for some reason it's a natural fit.

Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles?

I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting for an original one.

Something about being projected on a 70 foot screen makes you more attractive and appealing to the opposite sex, which is pretty scary.

Getting married has shifted my focus, in such a profound way. You just realize, "Oh, I can't be so selfish anymore. There's someone else."