Once I walked out of my house into to the Puerto Rican Day parade. It was usually a five-minute walk to work, but that day it took me a half-hour to get to 30 Rock.

It was my second show as a writer, and Justin Timberlake was just coming off boy-band stardom. People were rolling their eyes, but I used to watch the Mickey Mouse Club, and I knew all those kids were talented as hell. Justin was as comfortable on camera in that first episode as any of our cast members.

Growing up, my sisters were both into dancing, so I went to a lot of dance recitals, mostly because there were always pretty girls in leotards.

I'm not buying a boat because of writing skits.

A lot of it comes from tiny things, like not eating barbecue sauce with my pizza at two in the morning. I think it's all a manifestation of being happy and wanting to treat myself well. The truth is, I'm not getting up an hour earlier and walking on a treadmill. I have the greatest workout partner in the world. And you don't need a gym membership for that kind of workout.

Now Ben Folds is my photography older brother. He was kind enough to give me a photo of his for my 40th birthday.

I am now The Establishment. There's nothing I can do about it.