I am now The Establishment. There's nothing I can do about it.

When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that.

A lot of it comes from tiny things, like not eating barbecue sauce with my pizza at two in the morning. I think it's all a manifestation of being happy and wanting to treat myself well. The truth is, I'm not getting up an hour earlier and walking on a treadmill. I have the greatest workout partner in the world. And you don't need a gym membership for that kind of workout.

Once I walked out of my house into to the Puerto Rican Day parade. It was usually a five-minute walk to work, but that day it took me a half-hour to get to 30 Rock.

It's the journey, not the destination. I truly believe that.

Growing up, my sisters were both into dancing, so I went to a lot of dance recitals, mostly because there were always pretty girls in leotards.

I'm not buying a boat because of writing skits.