Being polite and grateful will make people more inclined to help you. And if people are willing to help you, you may accidentally get something you want.

I'm not buying a boat because of writing skits.

A lot of it comes from tiny things, like not eating barbecue sauce with my pizza at two in the morning. I think it's all a manifestation of being happy and wanting to treat myself well. The truth is, I'm not getting up an hour earlier and walking on a treadmill. I have the greatest workout partner in the world. And you don't need a gym membership for that kind of workout.

You start at 'SNL' when you're young and hungry, but I don't want my pro years to be my 'SNL' years.

A lot of improvisation ends up being about just thinking outside of the box in the scene. It's not improvisation as much as it is quickness or making it real.

I'd love to do a drama.

Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be hilarious. Man, I really hope the internet sticks around so people can reference this article in my obituaries and see that what sounds like a joke was actually amazingly prescient.