There are a lot of idiots in this country, and they deserve representation as much as the next man.

I wished I could share my own optimism.

The Goliath Corporation was to altruism what Genghis Khan was to soft furnishings.

For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.

How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?

Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity and kindness is for losers. The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts – and let’s face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field – is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it dilutes the taste of wickedness to a lower level that is obtainable by almost anyone with an overdeveloped sense of avarice. True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good.

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.