Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.

If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

Acceptable rules of conduct were suspended when it came to the spoon shortage. The deficit had gotten so bad that prices were all but unaffordable, and dynastic spoon succession had become a matter of considerable interest. Spoons were even postcode engraved and carried on one's person to eliminate theft, and good table manners, one of the eight pillars upon which the Collective was built, had been relaxed to allow tea to be stirred - shockingly - with the handle of a fork.

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good - and we all know how rare that is.

The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops.

Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.