I hate not knowing what to believe anymore. I hate not knowing what's real.

Because our lies matched. It was a sign.

Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you—just a tad—off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much—too tiring—and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy... or whatever... to happen.

But sometimes there’s nothing left to do but move on.

Because no, I didn’t push her away. I didn’t add to her pain or do anything to hurt her. Instead, I left her alone in that room. The only person who might’ve been able to reach out and save her from herself. To pull her back from wherever she was heading. I did what she asked and I left. When I should have stayed.

Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust?

Everything seemed good, but I knew it had the potential to be awful.