You know what the bounty is on bin Laden? $25 million. It sounds like a lot until you realize the Texas Rangers paid $250 million to get Alex Rodriguez.
Jay LenoHoward Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off their clothes now.
Jay LenoIn his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans.
Jay LenoMartha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.
Jay LenoI was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.
Jay LenoBefore they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it was too expensive. So the people who voted for Obamacare for us voted to exempt themselves from it. You know how doctors take the Hippocratic Oath. Congress apparently takes the 'Hypocritic Oath.'
Jay Leno