They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years.

The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low - in other words, Bush is back on the job.

America needs ObamaCare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th. If it is more then three years they will just keep it. How come it doesn't work that way with back taxes?

They always say the Miss America Pageant isn't a beauty contest, it's really a scholarship program. If that's the case, why don't we just put all the contestants on 'Jeopardy!' and pick Miss America that way? At least you get the smartest one.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.