Congratulation s to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to Chicago.

If we go down in flames, we will be laughing on the way down, believe me.

Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's about gasoline.

John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to the National Guard once a month, he's not going to show up for this.

Kerry was here in Los Angeles. He was courting the Spanish vote by speaking Spanish. And he showed people he could be boring in two languages.

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.