President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida.

The price of oil is rising because of all the unrest in the Middle East. And the unrest in Wisconsin is causing the price of cheese to go through the roof.

Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him.

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida.

President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know why? When you're $16 trillion in debt, they don't let you in.

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?