Soup is probably a way associated with screwing you outside of a meal.

In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.

You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network.

Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd because the Democrats are saying the exact same thing about President Bush.

A lot of American companies are now moving into Iraq. Iraq now has Pizza Hut, Subway, Taco Bell and Popeye's fried chicken. So, great, instead of oil for food, we're giving them oil in food.

Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name.

Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife.