I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.

A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned on testifying, but when Jeffrey Skilling testified, he took all the really good lies.

President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation.

We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records.

The difference between Men and Women is that Men love The 3 Stooges, and Women think they're assholes.

You've got Bush and Gore headed to the Supreme Court. You've got George W. Bush's intelligence will be pitted against Al Gore's honesty. This is more like a case for small claims court.

9% would give up sex for the remote control. 91% has already given up sex for the remote control!