65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was bad.'

Know what the Taliban leaders like to do for fun? Just sit around and get bombed.

Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry because of security reasons. Because they're easy to hack into. In fact, when Obama heard he might have to give it up, he said, 'OMG! WTF?' I mean, he couldn't believe it.

Sixty years ago this week Hitler invaded Poland. This led to the creation of The History Channel.

As they do every year, al-Qaida has threatened to disrupt and ruin Christmas. You know, we already have a group that disrupts and ruins Christmas every year. They're called relatives.

Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That's the total number of delegates he needs to win the Democratic nomination. See for President Bush it's different - his magic number is 5. That's the number of Supreme Court judges needed to win.