65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see things, you have to get in your car and actually go.

When Rick Perry was told about Kim Jong Il, he said, 'I never heard of him, but then again, I don't listen to that rap.'

You've got Bush and Gore headed to the Supreme Court. You've got George W. Bush's intelligence will be pitted against Al Gore's honesty. This is more like a case for small claims court.

Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart. He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living here by election time.