65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the campaign is really over. Remember before the election? 'The audacity of hope!' 'Yes, we can!' 'A change we can believe in!' Now it's, 'We're all screwed.'

Dean is a doctor but he acts more like a postal worker!

Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party.

This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a President, we get two choices. But when we have to select a Miss America, we get 50.

According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought.

I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.