There's this huge controversy over the fact that President Bush apparently received credit for National Guard service in Alabama in '72 and '73 even though his commanding officers are saying he never reported. I think what's even more disturbing is that he received enough credits to graduate from Yale.

Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as opposed to the Republican health care plan, where an accountant would stand between you and your health care.

55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!

You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats

And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most campaign speeches given in one day. He gave 21 speeches in one day. Of course, we have to take his word for it, because of course, there are no witnesses.

The Kinsey Institute says gay men have bigger sex organs. Hence the origin of gay pride.

Border agents have now been issued air guns that shoot pepper balls at people coming across the Mexican border. Have they thought this through? Is that going to bother people from Mexico? Pepper balls? Don't these people eat jalapenos? Isn't that like firing meatballs at an Italian guy?