Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street

Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he has been running since he was in elementary school - kind of like Mitt Romney.

There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.

You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.

Show business is like Champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it everyday

President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name: Running Deficits.