Valentines day are coming up and a German company has made chokolate in shapes of couples making love. I don't like them... I don't want my chokolate to have more fun than me.

As you know, today was Don't Take Your Illegal Immigrant To Work Day here in Los Angeles. No, all across the nation they had a Day Without Immigrants, is what they call it. Or, as Native Americans call it, the good ol' days.

In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within. So what is he saying - that if we want real change, we should throw him out?

We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president enjoys visiting NBC because we're the only place that has lower numbers than he does.

The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings and loans? Not enough savings, too many stupid loans, okay In fact, they changed their name from WaMu to 'screw you.'

Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy with a famous name, who doesn't know anything about running the government. Didn't hurt George Bush.

We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.