Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.

President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

George W. Bush loves golf because it's like the election--low score wins.

65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

Scientists believe that monkeys can be taught to think, lie and even play politics within their community. If we can just teach them to cheat on their wives we can save millions on congressional salaries.

Johnny Walker, the American that fought for the Taliban, is now talking with an Arabic accent. Have you heard him? It's ridiculous. I know how we should handle him. Let's bring him back here and take him to Cleveland Browns stadium and dress him up as a referee. They'll know how to take care of him!

Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party.