Romney raised $10 million. That’s a dollar for every position he’s had on healthcare.

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?

President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida.

Rick Perry told reporters this week that he has a permit to carry a concealed handgun. He also has a concealed vocabulary, concealed knowledge of the issues, concealed tolerance.

The Kinsey Institute says gay men have bigger sex organs. Hence the origin of gay pride.

If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else.

I looked up the word POLITICS in the dictionary, and it's actually a combination of two words: poli, which means 'many,' and tics, which means 'bloodsuckers.'