Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke.

Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?

California Governor Gray Davis visited an elementary school here in Los Angeles where he taught a class. I don't want to say he was unpopular but the kids gave him a wedgie and stuffed him in a locker.

They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it's not the bun?

Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".

I tried to log on to the Obamacare website today. I don't think I'm doing it right. I lost 300 bucks playing Texas Hold 'Em.