A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama's economic adviser.

And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most campaign speeches given in one day. He gave 21 speeches in one day. Of course, we have to take his word for it, because of course, there are no witnesses.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to drop the name Clinton from her name, or drop the name Rodham. They can't figure out which one is more embarrassing.

Over in Iraq after you vote they paint your finger purple so you can't vote again. It's a flawless system. It works perfectly unless, of course, someone has paint remover.

It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'

Big scandal on the new 'Survivor' series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team.

Howard Dean announced today he will campaign in seven states. The states are Rage, Frenzy, Fury, Rath, Fever, Agitation, and Delirium. Yeeeeaaaah!