For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that in fact many people will lose their plans. But there is a way to keep the great coverage you have. Just become a member of Congress. Then the taxpayers pay for the whole thing.

The Iraqis sat down for talks on how to put together a post-war government. They would have sat down yesterday, but somebody stole all their couches.

Anybody who gives their car to a valet isn't a car guy

This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white people."

Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.

President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.