The difference between Men and Women is that Men love The 3 Stooges, and Women think they're assholes.

When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States.

Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.

Did you hear about this 20-year-old kid named John Walker from Northern California who was apparently fighting for the Taliban?... It didn't take long for the TV networks to jump on this Walker thing. CBS has a new show: 'Walker: Taliban Ranger.'

Romney raised $10 million. That’s a dollar for every position he’s had on healthcare.

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.

In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it.