More warnings issued by all branches of the government today that another terrorist attack is imminent. We're not sure when, we're not sure where, just that it is coming. Who is attacking us now, the cable company?

They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out.

Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!

Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's no way to win! If Osama dies, you don't get paid. If you're found, you get killed.

What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their faces just so they won't be recognized.

President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.