I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show that is! Did you see Sarah Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson? Did you all watch that? In fact, John McCain was watching it at home, and at one point, he turned to his wife and said, 'She looks really familiar.'

Diet Coke with lemon - didn't that used to be called Pledge?

President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'

Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his?

They always say the Miss America Pageant isn't a beauty contest, it's really a scholarship program. If that's the case, why don't we just put all the contestants on 'Jeopardy!' and pick Miss America that way? At least you get the smartest one.

Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a guy who has had 4 heart attacks than a place with thin air, rugged hiking and all-beef dinners? Why don't they get some snow for him to shovel while he's out there, too?