I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?

The Republicans finally got some good news over the weekend. The North Koreans set off a nuclear bomb. Thank God. It was so powerful it knocked the Mark Foley story right off the front page. And knocked him off the page he was on, too.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said 'It's just springtime.'

President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was bad.'

In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network Donald Trump said "I believe in god." But of course The Donald was talking about Himself.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?