One of the Taliban spokesmen said they have thousands of men who look forward to death like Americans look forward to living, which is great because we can arrange that. We'll set them up with death, we'll continue living.
Jay LenoThese White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten.
Jay LenoPresident James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Jay LenoIt is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.
Jay LenoSo, Wesley Clark is running for president. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, first in his class at West Point, supreme commander of NATO, saw combat in Vietnam, won the bronze star, silver star, the purple heart for being wounded in battle. See, I'm no political expert, but that sounds pretty good next to choking on a pretzel, falling off a scooter and dropping the dog.
Jay Leno