San Francisco hosted the first medical marijuana job fair. The keynote speech was titled, 'Jobs and How to Avoid Getting One.'

Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'

President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I was a kid

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".

What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their faces just so they won't be recognized.

The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them. Like players could steal a base and then deny it.