U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss this?

At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down.

As they do every year, al-Qaida has threatened to disrupt and ruin Christmas. You know, we already have a group that disrupts and ruins Christmas every year. They're called relatives.

I went to see that movie 'From Hell,' or as Osama bin Laden calls it - 'Roots.'

Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people.

Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife.

Some members of Congress now are complaining they are underpaid. They want to propose a pay raise. You can't blame them. A lot of them took a big income hit when Enron folded.