Nancy Pelosi said that when it comes to cleaning up government, the Democrats have drained the swamp. The only problem with that is what's left after you drain the swamp: snakes everywhere.
Jay LenoAnd Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most campaign speeches given in one day. He gave 21 speeches in one day. Of course, we have to take his word for it, because of course, there are no witnesses.
Jay LenoParis Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.
Jay LenoToday, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It's fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars.
Jay Leno