You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity.

I went to see the Terminator movie the other night. Every time Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the screen this guy in front of me went 'Booo! Booo!' and was throwing stuff. I had to say 'Governor Davis just shut up and sit down!'

Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.

If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map. However 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map.

President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms. He's going to disappear and go fishing. So he must think he's back in the National Guard.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.