A new study shows that the child population in San Francisco is dwindling and in fact San Francisco has the smallest share of children of any major city in the United States. That's odd, huh? For some reason couples in San Francisco don't seem to be reproducing as much as couples in other cities. Gee, I wonder what the problem is there? You think it might be something in the Rice-A-Roni?

Heating bills this winter are the highest they've been in five years, but President Bush has a plan to combat rising bills. It's called global warming.

At a press conference yesterday NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming is so bad, if the presidential election were held today, Al Gore would still lose.

They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years.

Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.

I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see things, you have to get in your car and actually go.