They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out.

The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam Hussein supporters to get them to talk. Theyre blaring heavy metal music at them. That should make the artist feel pretty good, huh? Put your heart and soul into your last CD and the Army is using it to torture people.

What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their faces just so they won't be recognized.

Experts are saying that President Bush's goal now is to politically humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why don't we just make him the next Democratic presidential nominee?

A new study shows that the child population in San Francisco is dwindling and in fact San Francisco has the smallest share of children of any major city in the United States. That's odd, huh? For some reason couples in San Francisco don't seem to be reproducing as much as couples in other cities. Gee, I wonder what the problem is there? You think it might be something in the Rice-A-Roni?

The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

According to today's Los Angeles Times, Gray Davis now gets negative job ratings from white people, black people, Latinos, Republicans, Independents and even Democrats. Say what you want about the guy but he's a uniter!