We are in a code orange. Homeland Security said earlier today that everyone should have a roll of duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect your house in event of terrorist attacks. Who came up with this idea? MacGyver?

Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity.

If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star.

I don't understand the United Nations. They have selected Iran to sit on the U.N.'s women's rights panel. Iran! Also on the panel - Ben Roethlisberger, Chris Brown, Phil Spector, Robert Blake and committee chairman O.J. Simpson.

Researchers in England say tall men are more likely to have more children than short men. Here in America we call that the NBA theory.

It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy.

Howard Dean dropped out of the race today. At least he can't claim his voice wasn't heard.