Shame on you, Crispin. Married how long, and you haven't spanked your wife with a metal spatula yet?" I'd gotten used to Ian's assumption that everyone was as perverted as he was, so I didn't miss a beat. "We prefer blender beaters for our kitchen utensil kink," I said with a straight face. Bones hid his smile behind his hand, but Ian looked intrigued. "I haven't tried that ... oh, you're lying, aren't you?" "Ya think?" I asked with a snort. Ian gave a sigh of exaggerated patience and glanced at Bones. "Being related to her through you is a real trial.

You either trust me or you don't. I've never let you down, and I won't walk away unless you make me. Period. Now, unless you have a real emergency, I'd like to get back to my vacation. And my corpse, thanks.

Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was putting Don's remains away instead of me. With my current emotional state, I'd probably think the only safe place for his ashes was tucked inside my clothes next to the garlic and weed.

Rodney the ghoul?...Oh, I liked him. He didn't get angry no matter how many times my mother insulted him.

I know you think I was pressured into binding myself with you before, but that's not true,I always intended to marry you, kitten.

If you introduce yourself to anyone as Mrs. Dracula, I'll bite you in a manner you won't enjoy.

The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo..." Mencheres to Cat