A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

I enjoyed watching good-looking idiots looking at each other. A great spectator sport.

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.

Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.