I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.

There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.

My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

They smoke cigarettes professionally. The smoke is inhaled very sharply and the teeth are bared.Then the head turns to give you a profile and the smoke is exhaled slowly and deliberately and the grey jet stream becomes a beautiful blue cloud of smoke.What are they trying to tell us?

The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.