Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.

The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.

I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey's life story.

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'.