There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.

A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I've got to pay for that being an income tax payer.

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.

Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring.

I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation.

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.