Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you.

I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.

Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.

When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a cotton pad?" I'm not taking them off." Why not?" I spent $180 on that makeup job and I refuse to wash my face until I get my money's worth.

The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.