It wasn't my tennis that made me lose, it was a lot of different things going on, high drama, high emotion.

Forget about tennis, I was scared to open my mouth. I didnt even feel worthy of saying something and not sounding stupid.

Let me say that the path I did take for a brief period of my life was not of reckless drug use, hurting others, but it was a path of quiet rebellion, of a little experimentation of a darker side of my confusion in a confusing world, lost in the midst of finding my identity.

I feel life I've started a new chapter in my life, and I need to live the past behind.

I do still have some of the experience from playing, but it's been so long since I've been out in those quarters, semis, finals, the important final matches, just against the top players.

I had an instinct before and maybe now I don't have that instinct as much as knowing what to do, what shots to hit, where to place the ball, things like that.

I was an emotional basket case.