Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others.

Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin. I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture

In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home.

That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture." "Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?

If you haven't failed, you're not trying hard enough.

You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. - Anthony

I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.' What happened to "bibbity bobbity boo"?' Cal asked Min. That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary.