I’d smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?

For instance, dragons are deeply revered by the Chinese. According to legend they have megapowers that include weather control and life creation. And they’re seen as kind, benevolent creatures. Funny. Every fairy tale I’d ever heard involving dragons starred daring knights trotting off to kill said dragons. Probably the real reason every time East meets West they get pissed off and throw tea in our faces.

Oh my God, this can't be happening!" I cried. "What?" "Mopeds? Those are the wheels Pete gives us? I knew he was pissed off at me! It was all that time I spent in the hospital wasn't it? Or was it the wrecks? But I only tore up one car last time! And that wasn't my fault!

Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.

So... you're an assassin?" Dave asked incredulously. "Why do I feel like you'd have used the same tone if I'd just confessed to being a stripper?" I demanded. "Sorry," he said quickly. "I'm just surprised, is all.