I don't think I would want the responsibility for enforcing the death penalties. There's always the inevitable question of whether someone you gave the order to execute might truly have been innocent.

If you don't vote, then you may be leaving the decisions up to someone dumber than you.

If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra.

If you tell the truth, you don't need a long memory.

If you're a Mexican citizen whether you live in a shanty shack or the big palace on the beach, when you turn 65, your property taxes are cut in half.

If you ride in a group, then you're okay. Then the cars will respect you. But if you're riding alone, you get no respect out there from cars at all.

Okay, fluoride in the water to help our teeth. Well, shouldn't that be the job of your mom and dad? To teach you how to brush your teeth and use mouth wash? What do we need the government to do it for? Clearly, what a scam. Fluoride in the water.