Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

I think a person who is disabled should be disabled by no act of their own. If you become disabled because of alcoholism, drugs, or things of that nature, I do not think those conditions qualify someone to be called disabled. I think those conditions result from personal decisions.

Okay, fluoride in the water to help our teeth. Well, shouldn't that be the job of your mom and dad? To teach you how to brush your teeth and use mouth wash? What do we need the government to do it for? Clearly, what a scam. Fluoride in the water.

Whenever the government says, 'It's time to move on,' that means there's something they don't want you to know about.

In the last recession, 99 percent of us have lost wealth, but did you know that the top 1 percent increased their wealth five times? It tells you they create recessions so they get wealthier.

If Jesus came back today, I think he'd throw up.

I'm the only person in the world that, when he holds down two jobs, gets criticized for it; everyone else gets a pat on the back and say, 'What an entrepreneuring, hardworking person,' but apparently that doesn't apply to me.