Funeralese has had its ups and downs. The word 'morticians,' first used in Embalmers Monthly for February, 1895, was barred by the Chicago Tribune in 1932, 'not for lack of sympathy with the ambition of undertakers to be well regarded, but because of it. If they haven't the sense to save themselves from their own lexicographers, we shall not be guilty of abetting them in their folly.

Objectivity? I always have an objective.

Things on the whole are much faster in America; people don't 'stand for election', they 'run for office.'

When is conduct a crime, and when is a crime not a crime? When "Somebody Up There" - a monarch, a dictator, a Pope, a legislator - so decrees.

Now there is a society where the funeral industry got completely out of control.

It is somehow reassuring to discover that the word travel is derived from travail, denoting the pains of childbirth.

You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty.