Why should I bring happiness to those I loathe by obliterating myself, when I can make them miserable just by existing?

My Macbook is my new boyfriend, except that he's dependable and meets all my demands.

That's the thing about a great book. Every time you read it, it's different, because you're different. You've changed since the last time you picked it up, things have happened to you.

Screw us once, shame on them; screw us twice, shame on us.

That's really what the mall is all about: money. At the mall the rule is: Credito, ergo sum - I shop, therefore I am.

Beware of those who have never been bored, depressed, or angry. There is something seriously wrong with them.

The reason producers make stupid movies is because there are stupid people who will pay to see them.