Why should I bring happiness to those I loathe by obliterating myself, when I can make them miserable just by existing?

Never, ever point out that a woman is eating too much.

Why should I bring happiness to those I loathe by obliterating myself, when I can make them miserable just by existing?

Sometimes I wonder if, instead of falling madly in love, we should aspire to fall sanely in love. But then, what would be the point?

We don't really have a movie industry; we have a trailer industry. The movie guys make five minutes worth of stuff to get people in the theatre, and eighty-five minutes of filler.

What we call the wisdom that comes with age is usually simple caution.

Screw us once, shame on them; screw us twice, shame on us.