Screw us once, shame on them; screw us twice, shame on us.

What exactly did we learn in kindergarten? Nothing we wouldn't have learned if we;d stayed home. Okay, we learned that sometimes, by the time you get to the bathroom, it's too late.

If you are honest with yourself, your life will be so much more pleasant.

There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you recognize that at some point you're going to have to accept yourself in all your imperfect glory. What's wrong with liking yourself the way you are?

What does not kill you will make you stronger and more cynical.

As you go through life, you learn many lessons. Unfortunately these lessons only apply to the specific instances in which you learned them. Therefore you can expect to make horrible mistakes no matter how long you live.

The reason producers make stupid movies is because there are stupid people who will pay to see them.