What exactly did we learn in kindergarten? Nothing we wouldn't have learned if we;d stayed home. Okay, we learned that sometimes, by the time you get to the bathroom, it's too late.

Why should I bring happiness to those I loathe by obliterating myself, when I can make them miserable just by existing?

There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you recognize that at some point you're going to have to accept yourself in all your imperfect glory. What's wrong with liking yourself the way you are?

Beware of those who have never been bored, depressed, or angry. There is something seriously wrong with them.

In relationships it is best to assume nothing.

Never, ever point out that a woman is eating too much.

That's the thing about a great book. Every time you read it, it's different, because you're different. You've changed since the last time you picked it up, things have happened to you.