Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

There are four basic food groups: plain chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate.

I gave you sympathy. *I* want sympathy!" "Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You're getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you!

Two of my fav pieces of wisdom from Phoebe: - Men are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, and those that aren't are inaccessible. - Remember, it's always better to be the smartass rather than the dumbass.

Accept that some days you’re the bug, and some days you’re going to be the windshield.

Don't take life too seriously. After all none of us are getting out alive anyway.

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with.